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Book : It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover

I’m a mess.

 

That’s how I looked and how I felt after reading this book in one sitting.  I couldn’t sleep because my eyes hurt from crying.  It’s been a while since I read a good book and wow, this totally blew me away.  This ~review~ is full of spoilers, I highly suggest that you do not read this if you’re planning to read the book in the future.  That’s what I did– I didn’t read reviews, I stayed away from spoilers, I didn’t even read the synopsis! I was curious because it had such a high rating on goodreads so I decided to get a copy.  I AM SO GLAD I DID.  I have read four Colleen Hoover books and this one’s got to be my favorite.  Yes, I think this is so much better than November 9 which I loved deeply.

Look at this beautiful cover, I hope to get a hardbound copy of this soon!

 

Spoilers ahead. You have been warned.

 

SYNOPSIS:

 

SOMETIMES THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU IS THE ONE WHO HURTS YOU THE MOST

 

Lily hasn’t always had it easy, but that’s never stopped her from working hard for the life she wants. She’s come a long way from the small town in Maine where she grew up she graduated from college, moved to Boston, and started her own business. So when she feels a spark with a gorgeous neurosurgeon named Ryle Kincaid, everything in Lily’s life suddenly seems almost too good to be true.

 

Ryle is assertive, stubborn, and maybe even a little arrogant. He’s also sensitive, brilliant, and has a total soft spot for Lily, but Ryle’s complete aversion to relationships is disturbing.
As questions about her new relationship overwhelm her, so do thoughts of Atlas Corrigan her first love and a link to the past she left behind. He was her kindred spirit, her protector. When Atlas suddenly reappears, everything Lily has built with Ryle is threatened.

 

With this bold and deeply personal novel, Colleen Hoover delivers a heart-wrenching story that breaks exciting new ground for her as a writer. It Ends With Us is an unforgettable tale of love that comes at the ultimate price.
This book contains graphic scenes and very sensitive subject matter.

 

Sorry, I just had to use Park Min Young, Ji Chang Wook, and Doctor Mike’s pictures 🙂 They suit the characters well, don’t you think?  Plus I still have a Healer hangover, so…
THE CHARACTERS:
Lily Blossom Bloom

What determines a persons character arent the mistakes we make.  Its how we take those mistakes and turn them into lessons rather than excuses.

 

I cringe at the cheesiness of her name!  Lily’s a good name, but Lily Blossom Bloom, really?  And she owns a flower shop! LOL.  But despite the horrible name,  I think Lily is one of my most favorite book heroines ever.  I felt her pain, her anxieties, her happiness, her confusion.  She’s a strong young lady and I couldnt’ be more proud of her especially after finishing the book. I want to hug her and tell her how proud I am of what she has become.
Atlas Corrigan

In the future . . . if by some miracle you ever find yourself in the position to fall in love again . . . fall in love with me.

 

The whole time I was reading, I couldn’t get Atlas off my mind especially during the scenes where he wasn’t there.  He’s kind, humble, and probably the sweetest fictional male lead I’ve ever come across.  The only thing this book lacked is more scenes with him.  I always look forward to his and Lily’s back stories and I hoped he appeared more often.  He could’ve extended scenes so readers will know more about his present life and understand his feelings better.  But even having shorter scenes, to me, his scenes had the most impact.
Ryle Kincaid

I was worried that being in a relationship would add to my responsibilities.  That’s why I’ve avoided them my whole life.  I already have enough on my plate, and seeing the stress my parents’ marriage seemed to cause them, and the failed marriages of some of my friends, I wanted no part in something like that.  But after tonight, I realized that maybe a lot of people are just doing it wrong.  Because what’s happening between us doesn’t feel like a responsibility.  It feels like a reward.  And I’ll fall asleep wondering what I did to deserve it.

 

Oh my goodness, Ryle.  I LOVE doctors in movies and books.  A lot.  Ryle is ambitious, one of the best in his field, smart, and sexy as hell.  Who wouldn’t fall in love with a man like him?  He used to avoid relationships but after meeting Lily, everything changed.  I liked their relationship because of how balanced it is.  They excel in their own professions but still managed to have time for each other.  Halfway through the book, I know there’s something off but I couldn’t point it out.  Then it happened.  I thought it will just be a typical love triangle but boy, I was wrong.

 

COMMENTS:

 

We’re all just people who sometimes do bad things.  I guess that’s true in a way.  No one is exclusively bad, nor is anyone exclusively good.  Some are just forced to work harder at suppressing the bad.
The book started strong that’s why I found it hard to put down.  I get easily bored especially if the first few chapters are slow.  But with this book, I got hooked.  Ryle and Lily’s naked truths as well as Lily’s letters to Ellen Degeneres are enjoyable.  I love how Colleen Hoover used Lily’s journals for the flashbacks instead of getting the readers confused with chapters having mixed timelines.

 

People say teenagers don’t know how to love like an adult.  Part of me believes that, but I’m not an adult and so I have nothing to compare it to.  But I do believe it’s probably different.  Im sure there’s more substance in the love between two adults than there is between two teenagers.  There’s probably more maturity, more respect, more responsibility.  But no matter how different the substance of a love might be at different ages in a persons life, I know that love still has to weigh the same.  You feel that weight on your shoulders and in your stomach and on your heart no matter how old you are.

 

Some of the best parts of the book are Lily’s journal entries.  Her words are honest and sincere, it’s like reading your thoughts as a teenager but at the same time you understand it better as an adult.

 

Maybe love isn’t something that comes full circle. It just ebbs and flows, in and out, just like the people in our lives. Just because we didn’t end up on the same wave, doesn’t mean we aren’t apart of the same ocean.

 

I love Atlas and Lily’s back story.  I’m not a big fan of teenage love stories with angst that feels forced and with dialogues that don’t sound like teenagers at all (*coughs* TFIOS *coughs*).  In this book, it’s so cute and so heartbreaking how Atlas and Lily started out as strangers, with Lily being the most beautiful angel who just wanted to help another poor soul.  She has had enough problems of her own but that didn’t hinder her from reaching out to Atlas.

 

Atlas, aka the most adorable fictional character ever, who had nothing to give but his heart.  His respect and love for Lily goes beyond words.  He doesn’t speak much, but when he does, I felt it coming out from the book’s pages to crush my heart be it in the best or in the worst way possible.

 

Life is a funny thing. We only get so many years to live it, so we have to do everything we can to make sure those years are as full as they can be. We shouldn’t waste time on things that might happen someday, or maybe even never.

 

Everything is going well.  I even love the other side characters, especially Marshall and Allysa.   Like what I said, I thought it’s a typical love triangle wherein Lily is torn between her first love and her current love.  We, as readers, are left wondering if Lily will choose Atlas or Ryle.  I was surprised that in an instant, Ryle and Lily got married.  Just like that.  Lily married the guy who refused to have a relationship.  The same guy who loves his career more than anything.  But then again, who could blame her? Ryle changed for the better because of her.  He used to hate relationships and then in a snap, they were talking about building a family together.  I know it’s too good to be true.

 

Fifteen seconds. That’s all it takes to completely change everything about a person. Fifteen seconds that we’ll never get back.

 

Then it happened.

 

HOLY SH*T.

 

I didn’t see it coming until that use a pot holder incident.  I knew it.  I was waiting for something bad to happen but when it finally did, I re-read that scene while clutching my heart.  It was so painful, I felt so bad for Lily.  I knew it.  Ryle was too perfect to the point that he’s already scaring me.  Since the beginning, I was rooting for Atlas and I’ve always wondered why we don’t get too much of him except from Lily’s POVs.

 

Just because someone hurts you doesn’t mean you can simply stop loving them. It’s not a persons actions that hurt the most. It’s the love. If there was no love attached to the action, the pain would be a little easier to bear.

 

So when the abuse started, I knew Ryle would do anything for Lily to forgive him.  Abusers always tend to do that, don’t they?  If it’s not Lily, I’d be frustrated that she keeps coming back to him.  Or that she still has the heart to give him another chance.  But I didn’t judge her, especially when she realized she’s becoming like her mother.

 

I admire her character so much that’s why from that moment, I’m cheering her on.  I couldn’t imagine what she went through, how women like her are going through, but I still felt her pain.  I salute Colleen Hoover for that.

 

Imagine all the people you meet in your life. There are so many. They come in like waves, trickling in and out with the tide. Some waves are much bigger and make more of an impact than others. Sometimes the waves bring with them things from deep in the bottom of the sea and they leave those things tossed onto the shore. Imprints against the grains of sand that prove the waves had once been there, long after the tide recedes. That was what Atlas was telling me when he said “I love you.” He was letting me know that I was the biggest wave he’d ever come across. And I brought so much with me that my impressions would always be there, even when the tide rolled out.

 

Another reason why  I love Lily is because she wasn’t waiting for anyone to help her.  Both her and Atlas are considerate individuals and they care for each other so much that one knows what the other feels without uttering a word.  I guess that’s the magic of their love which stemmed from a wonderful friendship years ago.  I love them both so much as individuals, but together, they were perfect.  It’s just that the situation isn’t exactly ideal.
And there goes another plot twist which I kind of expected: Lily is pregnant and Ryle is the father.  Lily’s confused thoughts were understandable because even though he hates him so much, he still loves him.  Having a traumatic childhood makes her crave for a family but every time she remembers what happened, she snaps out of her fantasies.  I also love how this also happened longer and not in an instant because that would be more believable.  Sure, Ryle’s trauma is heartbreaking, it will destroy anyone.  But that should not be an excuse to hit your wife and endanger her life.  Like what was said in the book, if Ryle really loves Lily, she should let her go.  He gave her enough time to think about their relationship and I appreciate that.  He also acknowledged that what he did was wrong so even though I hate him, I understand why Lily needed some time to think.

 

You’re only human. And as humans, we can’t expect to shoulder all of our pain. Sometimes we have to share it with the people who love us so we don’t come crashing down from the weight of it all.
I may be biased because I love Atlas even before things got bad but still, h’es a pretty amazing person.  He has always been Lily’s friend and number one supporter.  He was always there for her but he didn’t even take advantage of her when deep inside, he knew he had a chance especially when Ryle and Lily were going through a rough patch.  He even faked having a girlfriend because she didn’t want Lily to worry about him.  Considerate Atlas, that’s what Lily always says.  Because he is.

 

The last few chapters were difficult to read because at some point, Lily has to make a decision.  AND I AM SO PROUD OF HER. I’ve never felt this satisfied, I tear up just remembering that scene.  The scene where Lily finally asked Ryle for a divorce.  My heart breaks for Ryle, for Lily, for everyone.  It was a difficult decision to make.  They were all victims of their horrible pasts– Lily with an abusive father, Atlas who was left homeless, and Ryle who accidentally killed his older brother.  They moved on from who they were and lived better lives.  But there were instances in life that they couldn’t always get what they hoped for, but in time, they know it will get better.

 

It’s easy when we’re on the outside to believe that we would walk away without a second thought if a person mistreated us.  Its easy to say we couldn’t continue to love someone who mistreats us when we aren’t the ones feeling the love of that person.  When you experience it firsthand, it isn’t so easy to hate the person who mistreats you when most of the time they’re your godsend.

 

THIS. I have always felt this way for victims of abusive relationships.  I always ask myself why cant they leave the people who hurt them?  It’s because I haven’t experienced it so I have no idea how it feels.  I have no idea how difficult it is for them and I am in no position to judge.

 

The scene where Lily kept asking Ryle what if their own daughter told his Dad that his boyfriend is abusing her broke me.  Ryle and Lily were a sobbing mess of tears, broken hearts, and shattered dreams.  I felt like I was there, crying with them. That moment, I forgave Ryle but what happened, happened.  There is no turning back.  I know that’s what Lily felt.  She forgave him but she’s leaving him for their family’s sake.  She left him because she chose to love herself but she didn’t stop Ryle for being a father to their little girl.  She even named their daughter after Ryle’s deceased older brother.

 

Cycles exist because they are excruciating to break. It takes an astronomical amount of pain and courage to disrupt a familiar pattern. Sometimes it seems easier to just keep running in the same familiar circles, rather than facing the fear of jumping and possibly not landing on your feet.

 

My mother went through it.

 

I went through it.

 

Ill be damned if I allow my daughter to go through it.

 

I kiss her on the forehead and make her a promise. It stops here. With me and you. It ends with us.

 

*CRIES*  Wow, that was powerful.  The title had so much more meaning now that Ive read it.  If this isn’t love in its purest form, then I don’t know what it is.

 

Fast forward to the epilogue, thank God for some cuteness and fluff! After all the crying, I needed this! Lily and Atlas needed this. You can stop swimming now, Lily.  We finally reached the shore.
Again, tears.  But this time, happy ones. ❤︎

 

***

 

You know what the best part of the book is?  The authors note after the epilogue.  Colleen Hoover, you made me bawl like a baby!!! For some reason, books about domestic abuse affect me the most.  Im not comfortable with the topic and my heart breaks for the victims.  Maybe this is because I grew up in a warm and happy home, it pains me why bad things like this happen to people.  Thats why Im thankful that through this book, I sort of understand what Lily went through.  I was with her throughout her whole journey, from the very first page up to the last.  I fell in love, got confused, fought, and hurt with all the characters.  And after knowing this was from CoHos personal experience, it did a lot of things to my heart, good and bad.  Thank you for showing such raw emotions through this book.  It’s a story which Im sure I will never forget soon.

 

***

 

READ IT.  NOW.
PS

 

This needs to become a movie! I need a walking, talking Atlas! 😉

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