Movie Rant: Talk Back and You’re Dead
August 29, 2014
I will try to be as objective as possible so I can give you a decent movie review.
So many things are on my mind right now and the best way to get rid of them (hopefully!) is to write about it. My hands are shaking, probably because I am too angry. I can’t believe I wasted 200 pesos and two hours of my life watching this horrible, horrible movie. At first, I thought it was just those corny, cliche, Pinoy RomComs, but I was so wrong. This, by far, is the worst movie I’ve watched this year. And I already watched 59 movies for 2014 so that’s saying a lot.
To give you an idea what this movie is all about, one of my friends sent me this synopsis below.
Didn’t understand anything? Basically, that’s what the movie is all about. It did not make any sense. AT ALL. Take note that this synopsis was posted all over different cinemas nationwide. Gahd, the horror!
I wasn’t expecting anything when I entered the movie house. I didn’t even bother watching Diary ng Panget first. But I know that James Reid x Nadine Lustre (fans call them JaDine if I’m not mistaken) is one of the most popular loveteams today. I wasn’t expecting them to be as successful as Daniel Padilla x Kathryn Bernardo but WHAT THE HELL. This movie is very, very far from what I had in mind. Huhuhu. I’m not comparing the JaDine loveteam to KathNiel (Kathryn and Daniel are the Teen King and Queen for a reason) because their acting is actually okay. But the story, the dialogue, blocking, writing, EVERYTHING, made me want to pull all my hair out.
I watched the movie with my boyfriend and I kept on telling him I was sorry. In less than twenty minutes inside the movie house, I can already tell that he was annoyed. We were supposed to watch Ninja Turtles but I insisted that we watch TBYD because I need a feel-good rom-com that time. Ugh, I’ve never been this pissed in a movie in such a long time. I tried so hard not to overreact because I might spoil the “fun” for my other seatmates inside the cinema, but I can’t help it! I kept on rolling my eyes and I almost threw up :/ I just told myself that we paid for it so we might as well finish the movie. And it’s for two freaking hours!!!! Worst. Feeling. Ever.
I’m a very shallow person and very easy to please. I’m not too technical when it comes to directing and writing either. But come on, seriously? The movie has no flow, no direction, and has horrible blocking! Also, the supposedly kilig scenes made me cringe. Like what the boyfriend said, “Bakit sa KathNiel walang kiss, kahit smack man lang, e eto naglalaplapan na wala pa ko maramdaman?“. Sigh.
My friends asked me why did I even bother watching it. I told them that to show my support for local films, I really try to watch Pinoy films in cinemas as much as I can. And I’m a big fan of Star Cinema. This movie is from Viva Films, though. I’ve been disappointed by Viva films quite a few times already but I was really hoping this would turn out just fine given the blockbuster success of JaDine’s first movie. I was very wrong, I wanted to slap myself.
Also, I recently became a fan of Joseph Marco (Pure Love’s Sir Dave! <3 Heee~) but even he cannot save this movie from all the bashing. I stalked the #TBYD tag on twitter and many fans were really disappointed. Yessss! I am not alone! *sniff* I just feel like the lead actors and actresses’ talents were a waste. I cannot wait for them to have a movie with Star Cinema, to be honest.
I also noticed how the movie adapted (?) some scenes from Japanese / Korean dramas. Sigh. Maybe the writer watched too much anime / doramas? There were a lot of scenes that were really off, scenes that were, are, and will never be applicable to Filipino culture! And what is upppp with those surnames? Pendleton? Really? And those uniforms? And leather jackets? GOOD GOD I CAN’T EVEN. This is worse than JDrama adaptations of Hana Kimi and Ouran! And that ending?!?!?!?! You’ve got to be kidding. How very KDrama. Oh I forgot to mention, the lead girl has amnesia as well!!! Wow. Just…. wow. Too many unresolved plots, too many stupid scenes. I can probably list a hundred reasons why I hated the movie because it was plain stupid.
*Sighs again*. I’m sorry, I didn’t promise a comprehensive review, did I? Maybe the movie is not for everyone, because it certainly isn’t for me. And nope, not because I admit that I’m too old (you can NEVER be too old for a good chick flick!!!!!) but I just wish the makers of the film concentrated on the story more. I recommended the movie She’s Dating the Gangster to all of my friends and all of them liked/loved it. Because the story is good! And some of them even hate KathNiel with a passion. But this one, even if the two leads looked great together and had undeniable chemistry, the plot is way too shallow and confusing. Save two hours of your life and watch STDG instead.